Ever since I’ve been able to read a newspaper, I’ve been fascinated by advice columns. Why, I ask myself, do all these people have such funny names, like “Confused in Chillicothe”? Why do their friends and relatives all have quotation marks around their names like “My best friend ‘Chuck,’” or “My ex-husband, who I will call ‘Darrell.’” More importantly, who are these people, and why are they so willing to bare their souls to the world and to the scrutiny of an unseen counselor, who is known to them only by a morgue shot that’s at least ten years old? But just as Dear Abby never aged (at least until she died), so does my fascination for the giving and the getting of advice in public view. Hence this collection of advice on all manner of topics—love, automotive maintenance, insects, pets. I urge you to take my advice. Really, feel free. I wasn’t using it anyway.
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