Connor Adams' life might have been boring and full of petty annoyances, but at least she knew what to expect from living in Georgia her entire twenty-eight years. All of that is about to change, though, when a strange woman appears in the home she shares with her best friend, Jeremy Doyle, and they are transported to a place where wood folk - faeries, leprechauns, elves, satyrs, and more - exist. There she learns that she is the only child of the late Brood queen, and therefore is expected to govern the empire. But first, she has to find five royal artefacts that are scattered throughout the land before her sadistic cousin can collect them. It's enough to make Connor want to punch babies. Fortunately, she has help, and it comes from Jeremy Doyle and some of his Brood mates: Germaine Aubergine, Kenton Crisp, and Molly McSarnie. There's also Mercurius Fellatio, a faery with telepathic powers, and his lover James Banger, a nerd satyr with extensive culinary talents, plus a handful of other fantastic beings. On their travels, they will fight an insane zoophilic wizard, meet a depressed dragon, and avoid a sadistic mountain ash. And during all of this, Connor will wish she was alone, at home, with a stiff drink, some junk food, and violent video games.
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