Let's face it, we don't understand many of the terms computer pundits use. So, is this dictionary going to answer all your questions about terminology? Not really, but it might make you smile, even laugh, and that's something most computer books don't provide. A few examples: ASCII: The sound made by a sneezing computer, i.e. one with a virus. COMPUTER CRIME: An assault performed by a hacker, as opposed to a slasher. E-MAIL: Short for Ethereal Mail, a means of communicating with spirits (as opposed to celebrating with spirits). FLASH MEMORY: The recollections of an exhibitionist. HELP DESK: A place you call when your computer breaks and you want to know what the weather is like in India. INTERNET: A source of infinite knowledge, a collection of useless and inaccurate information, a pornocopia of smut. KINDLE: An e-book reader that uses "e-paper," i.e. paper than cannot be folded to make an airplane. LOW LEVEL LANGUAGE: Expressions used when the computer breaks. ONLINE DATING: A blind date arranged by a computer that knows less about you than your sister. RAM: One of a pair of hideous flying reptiles from the 1951 Japanese monster movie "Ram and Rom Stomp Kyoto." VOICE RECOGNITION: The ability of a dog, cat, or computer to recognize its master's voice. Dogs and computers recognize voices and respond in a pre-programmed manner; cats recognize voices and ignore them. WWW: One of the words used in a Field Sobriety Test. Note: This book was originally titled The Geek's Dictionary, but some people thought it was a serious reference. Hence the new title, and updated entries.
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