Johannes From The Practice Room To The Coffin: How My Lousy Childhood Led To Vampirism (English Edition) [Kindle-editie] beoordelingen het boek quotes

Violin prodigy Johannes’s childhood is so lousy that he stays awake at night wishing he were a vampire with the power to vanquish his tormentors. At eleven he is thrown in with the high school kids by whom he is ignored, insulted or beaten. At twenty he is the most sought after violin soloist in the world. On the Paris leg of his world tour, he gets his wish. Count Vitali (aka Count Ass-wipe), an ancient and cantankerous vampire visits him in his hotel room, kills him undead and then leaves him to fend for himself. After he comes to terms with some uncomfortable realities, Johannes falls in love with Julia, a farm-fresh Indiana girl and they get along in spite of their fundamental differences—him being a vampire and all. Then his murderous archenemy from childhood, Philip Penn (heir to the Penn Wire Coat Hanger fortune), reappears and teams up with the vicious Count Vitali. They kidnap the lovely Julia and demand Johannes’s life in exchange for hers. Facing insurmountable odds, Johannes must join forces with a hated foe for the final explosive showdown. ‘Johannes’ is the perfect combination of horror and humor. Olson’s visually exciting style—equal parts Christopher Moore and Janet Evanovitch, with a dash of Stephen King thrown in for fun—will hook you from word one and have you laughing, crying, and cheering right up to the end.