Invisible Bars: Why Women Won't Leave (English Edition) [Kindle-editie] beoordelingen het boek quotes

With all of the recent publicity about the high rate of child abuse in this country it is easy to forget the steadily growing group of women who still live with domestic abuse everyday. Admittedly many of these women are not considered as photogenic as the darling Kahui twins whose deaths temporarily awoke the New Zealand public from its apathy over what happens behind the closed doors in our neighborhoods, and admittedly there is still a belief among non-affected members of society that those women who do remain with their abusive partners do so because they are brain-dead or worse, that they like their situation. But even if we believe the statistics that show that some women abuse their children, there are still those women who have been the focal point for women’s refuge and other community organizations, who live their lives fully controlled by their abusive partners, and this group is growing steadily every year. Freelance Journalist Lisa Oliver knows what it is like to be one of those women. She spent ten years of her life married to firstly a chronic alcoholic and then to an extremely controlling man who spent the last six months of their marriage working out the most effective ways of killing her and getting away with it. Escaping only after this second husband had decided that the jail time for murder was worth it after all Lisa went on to rebuild her life for herself and her three children. However she has never forgotten the lessons she learnt during her time as a domestic abuse victim, and one of her main goals in life now has been to try and explain to the rest of society why a seemingly intelligent and competent woman can end up enduring all forms of abuse from her intimate partner, without leaving. Her attempt at explaining this complex issue has resulted in her self-published book Invisible Bars: Why women don’t leave. Written with a wide audience in mind Lisa mingles personal anecdotes with researched facts as she discusses first her response as a survivor to the concept of Battered Women’s Syndrome and then in the second part of the book the myriad of reasons that women may have for staying with their abusive partner. Ranging from personal to social to financial reasons Lisa uses the framework suggested by Women’s Refuge as to why women find it difficult to make the break that could save their life. And therein lies the true reason behind the book because women are still being killed by their partners, and to date there is no effective way of reaching those women so that they can take advantage of the resources that the government has put in place for victims of domestic violence. The third section of the book suggests tips for helping a victim of domestic abuse to leave her situation, without taking away any self-esteem or self-confidence from the victim themselves. Finally there is a resource section that includes questionnaires for women who are concerned they might be in an unhealthy relationship.